I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
