These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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