the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
