He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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