i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize