Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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