Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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