It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
