i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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