So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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