I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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