I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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