i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize