Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
