i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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