So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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