Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
