i'm signing you up for texting rehab
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
