it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
