I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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