That's when you crack a 10am beer
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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