I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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