You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
