Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
