I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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