turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
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i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
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jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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