So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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