the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
