Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.

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  (248) Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well. http://tfl.nu/x3ib
  Replies (2) Good night (1353) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.

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  (806): Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY. http://tfl.nu/w16e
  Replies (24) Good night (2698) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out

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  (612): Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out http://tfl.nu/cyb8
  Replies (45) Good night (5528) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.

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  (425): i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice. http://tfl.nu/fg4t
  Replies (45) Good night (20754) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"

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  (816): She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore" http://tfl.nu/r6vm
  Replies (71) Good night (8390) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no pressure.

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  (856): he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him. (215): no pressure. http://tfl.nu/wyu7
  Replies (12) Good night (4411) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?

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  (248): Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet? http://tfl.nu/so9l
  Replies (9) Good night (2146) Bad night (1757)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love

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  (708): we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love http://tfl.nu/30hf
  Replies (17) Good night (6577) Bad night (918)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.

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  (+61): I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you. http://tfl.nu/i3nm
  Replies (4) Good night (1567) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.

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  (609): I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth. http://tfl.nu/cul4
  Replies (4) Good night (1098) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake

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  (706): He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake http://tfl.nu/0u2m
  Replies (5) Good night (976) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.

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  (508): It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law. http://tfl.nu/9zdw
  Replies (8) Good night (1151) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.

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  (508): It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience. http://tfl.nu/aded
  Replies (3) Good night (1155) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.

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  (815): Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/bju4
  Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.

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  (209): My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it. http://tfl.nu/53yn
  Replies (2) Good night (310) Bad night (600)

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