it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.