I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
