It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
How naked do you want me to be?
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