Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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