I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
