i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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