I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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