We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
