Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
