We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
