Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
