I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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