I wanna bring you to show and tell
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
