We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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