on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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