she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
