every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My dick has a subreddit
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
