Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
