dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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