"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
