You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Never underestimate the power of titties
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