NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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