I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
