finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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