Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
