Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
