true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
