One girl and one boy is just not enough.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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