You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
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It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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