oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
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Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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