Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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