You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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